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Friday, December 14th, 2007
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well..aft quite some time...i've made up my mind.r/ship between me n rain ended.i noe i've hurt him too deeply... but i guess...one just haf to learn to move on... s much s memories of me n him remains...but i have to move on...
now wkin nite shift.finally...last nite.going malacca tmr morning.gees.so excited.well...i'm moving off my blog soon... keep ya all updated.=)
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Saturday, December 1st, 2007
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been 2 weeks since grandmother passed on...
had a terrible week..grieve n sadness.... well.... r/ship bewteen me n rain seems wierd... somehow, feels he isnt the one for me anymore... the closeness wer shared before, the feelings we have for each other, has faded. no doubt he stil loves me alot alot alot... able to accept me... however, i dont feel that close to him anymore.. tat's wat i hurt him most....
i just feel i'm very selfish.. wishing to hold on to him thou the feelings no doubt that strong... yet, somehow, wish to try again.. but yet. don realli wish to waste the time... ytd was the first day of our separation... will tis separation brings us together... or will it pull us together? i doubt n dont tink so.i realli don haf the confidence nor the strength to carry on the r/ship... no doubt..it's the memories that i cant let go off... the menmories i have with him, the things i go throu with him... staying tgt, first time doin household,first time shop for groceries and hsehold chores.. sigh... realli donno wat i want....
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Friday, November 9th, 2007
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it's 6am in the morning already....gosh.... goin back home in 1 n half hour time... it's d last nite shift ytd.. was bad... tryin to rest a while, yet, the stupid noisy ah ma keeps on groaning non stop for 2 hours!!i wonder y she doesnt lose her voice... *sigh*
super cranky now....yawning....goin catch a few hrs of sleep... den goin rika's there.finally,can see my ah dai for a while b4 dai dai goes work.hee.these 4 nites no time acc him, plus, my wkends off oso not much of time to acc him.... poor dai dai..sry wor.. baby oso wking hard.. at the same time, oso enjoyin hard.hehe. like that den we can get wat we want...=p must jia you!!! muackx!
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Thursday, November 8th, 2007
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| Time: | 5:07 am. |
| Mood: |  sleepy. |
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3rd nite...
writing down here again to keep myself awake.=)
it's the 3rd nite.my weekends off coming.hehs.so lookin forward to it. today there's a few interesting stories.
firstly,hehs,came into the ward n heard that there's one patient that the family tinks that she's possessed.lolx. so i was quite freaked out.told amalia tat 'eh.todae ans call bell or wat ah,we go tgt.' lolx.
2ndly, let's 'welcome' another 'quiet' admission to our ward. keeps on shouting missy ah,missy ah,doc ah doc ah..' my gosh... told her off.tell her keep quiet.lol.now sleeping soundly le.hehe.haf to be an agressive nurse eh.=p
3rdly,another admission.wth.tis is the one i don like. a group of 10 relatives came in tgt with the patient!! omg!! she's 40plus n yet they all tink she's stil a young kid. irritating. noe y, they came in, a whole grp n make so much noise.wakie my another pt who can hardly fall asleep. den nvm. i told em to keep their tone down,or some of the rest leave first,as it's in d middle of the nite n it's too many ppl of em to be ard. den one of em ( tink it's the pt's bro or wat) tryin to crack a joke which is not funni at all.den nvm.when i do interview em,oso tell em keep their tone dwn n ask some of them to leave first, d same person tell me 'doc nv sae ath u s a nurse sae wat?'. wah!!! hear tis my blood boils!!! so i told him off, ' the one that's takin care of the ward n the rest of the pt is we nurses,not the doctor'. den he keeps quiet. den the sister oso. sae wat ask me ask the doc to prescribe sedatives for the pt s pt first time admits to hospital,veri timid n will scared,ask us to give her TLC(tender,love n care).wth...40plus leh!!!! gosh...donnoe wat kind of ppl..they are just like a group of gundoos coming to talk to me! *pissed*
gettin more sleepy n agitated.lol. miss my ah dai alots.but i'm heading home.sob.or shd i head back to woodlands?hmm.donnoe.it's deepavali.havin a small picnic here. but couldnt finish up my food. lol. nvm. stil got tonite.it's the last nite!!! yawn.. must hang on stil...
*lookin forward to my weekends off*
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Wednesday, November 7th, 2007
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long time no update wor!!!! miss me ma??hehs. long time haven online oso. hardly at home nor got the inspiration to online.hehs.now,got the inspiration cuz i'm on nite shift now. in order to keep me awake,tis is the onli thing i can do, write! lol.
2nd nite shift.yawn.sleepy sleepy.hehs.now den realise how tiring 4 nites are.lol. the onli thing that look forward is the 3 days of rest days.finally,it's all full house now.all we haf to do is jus to keep watch at the patients.hehs.
1st nite, a pt situation suddenly turn quite scary.cuz he was a quite a well man,walk abt,but smoked alot!! come in becoz of a hand wound,now lead to so many prob,heart prob n ulcer in the duoderm. haix. ytd suddenly almost got stroke. phew. scary. was quite traumatised ytd cuz suddenly see some1 like that rite in front of me.hehe. but aft a while, got used to it le.
well, since entering into healthcare line,one will jus realise how fragile life is.a moment ur're well,the next moment, u could be just one step nearer into the grave. tat's y somehow, i think that when u dont feel there's ath wrong wif u, better don go check up! becoz it could be leading to another problem again. ha.. well,i'm a 'superstitious' nurse.=p
recently,just veri busy with work. well, jus need to earn more money to maintain wat i wan to afford now. tat's y keep on handling 2 jobs,no matter how tough it is. well, i'm young ma. doesnt realli need to haf alot of rest. wish to get n acheive alot in life,but still wondering where to head to. shd nursing be my career or shd it be just a job?i dont know. see what's these 3yrs goin to be like. i cant do ath but to use these 3 yrs to experience outside life.
r/ship wise,so far so good..just one thing not good,which is, my dai dai gettin more cheeky n naughty!!!!hehehe.. now i just havt o learn to be naughtier n cheeky than him.bleh! nowadays wil tend to stay over at our place more.hee.family prob;oso, stayin with ah dai teachs me to be more well behaved.at least,i'm surviving alone outside. tat's y i nid to wk hard more n stop depending on others.
another thing, i need to get my driving license soon!!!! wish i could stop wking a mth den i can piang for my driving lesson!! arghhh!! jia you!!!
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whoa whoa whoa.. haha.. seems like mths i haven been updating.hehs.hardly home.busy busy. and lazy online!=p
well,raelised the 'me' now is so decent.hehs.not bz partyin but it's bz working!! n dating of cuz! transferred to ward 52, a transit ward of the AnE. not sure abt the management though.struggling with work, colleagues, n stuffs. =.= haix. how shd i sae leh..donnoe.. jus not so familiar wif the colleagues down here. i miss my ward 51. sighhh.... though it's jus opposite, but it's different working there. sigh. miss the times.. nvm. hopefully there's one day i can get transferred there. let's see,jus tolerate for these 3 yrs, n i'll be out! ( unless there's exception,that i win toto, to pay back the bond.kekekeke)
nite job. ok la. new system stil not bad. at least got more tips. sat bro's bdae. celebrated his bdae. drank a bit. was too tired. so kind of drunk? haha.. sry nern. couldnt make it for ur bdae. but ur bdae pressie with me wor.... see when got time mit up okies? hehs.
these 2 days off.wking consecutively 9 days next wk. haix. stupid. plus so many afternoon shifts.good n bad then.
r/ship.hmm.ok la.manageable.hehs.thou lots of obstacles, but it's all clear. cuz tis heart of mine, thou it's rebellious, yet, it's soft-hearted. hehs..
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hohoho..jus realised hadnt been updating my journal for bout 1wk plus?gees
finally, the first day of being a staff nurse! lolx. y aint i seem that keen? haha. well, another 3 more yrs to go... let's see if i'll njoy.. thankfully, i'm posted to A class ward.. hopefully it's good...
have 1 mth induction course to go. tmr will be going to ward. *keen* finally wearing my SN uniform. wahaha.
todae. went shoppin a bit. bot my graduation top. graudation day tmr. dear dear n mom will be going. hehs. den.. went play game. dear dear see me play game. haha. donnoe y he enjoys seeing my play game. so sweeet. hehe... next time probably can do tis often. =p
well, i've grown up.feeling veri xin fu... reallly xin fu.. although the road gonna to be long, the road gonna be tough... but tough times, wil bound to be over one day. we shall work hard. jia you!
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Wednesday, June 27th, 2007
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was in gd spirits to drink ytd. john came. finally gotta see him. lol. intro rain ( my beloved) to him. they both had good chat thou. gees.
aft wk, stil feel lyk drinkin. so, me,dear,john,rika and pui pui went to tis ktv pub. haha. keeps cheers. n well, john got drunk. kekeke. me 2!!!
poor dear. he was in high spirits thou. hehs. went off wif him. it's so nice,to be able to wake up n see him sleeping besides me. love him more s day goes by.
gees
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hadn't been home much for a wk!!!!haha.
been spending time wif dear. well, tis is the only week that we could meet up so often. n we actually realised,we cant live without each other!!!lolz.
honeymoon period is so sweet.we had a great time tgt tis wk. laughers n joy are once back in my life again. feeling happiness once again.n it's true happiness.=)
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i've reached the limit of the tireness n stress. lol. dear found out bout my stress level, n still, so understanding. well, somehow, i feel it's d stress i'm givin myself. =p
got home 6am tis morning. drank alot ytd. n actually saw an old sec sch friend.kai ming! gees. almost cant recognise her s i drank alot. tot i called out the wrong name. =p so drank, s drunk s i m, i stil head down for movie with boss n some other ppl. lolx. amazingly,me n boss had lots of talk. first time. =) she is also some1 whom i can learn from. =) watched fantasic 4. not bad. quite funny. hehs.
met up wif dear today. spent the whole day with him. had dinner wif my parents n him. well, situation is quite tense thou. shak! too fast liaox. ha.. nvm... den... watched shrek3. erm.not tat nice leh. wonder how ting luff throughout the whole movie. haha. den got home. quite tiring. cuz been sleeping less... gonna haf a break tmr.=)
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Saturday, June 16th, 2007
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love strikes. this icy heart of mine melts again. though for the whole week, the time we meet up can be hardly less than 24 hrs, still, it's the quality time that i enjoyed.
dear has been really understanding n supporting of me. this is wat i need, n i've found. leading on a brand new life now.
watched pirates of the carribean today.finally! the show is messy,complicating.haha.but not bad thou. next one will be shrek3! followed by fantastic4,transformer,n harry potter in jul! hehs. hopefully,we wud be able to make time out. =)
i'm very xin fu at tis moment. hopefully,this moment will stay.=)
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Thursday, June 14th, 2007
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tiring n busy day last nite. but it's fun.=)
it marks one of the happiniess in my life. having some1 who loves n pamper me alot,y not? it's been quite sometime since i'm feelin so pampered n loved by some1. at least, he accepts the way i am. i cant seems to find any reasons to reject him. =)
dear came n find me at my wkpl.opened a bottle of martel for him.looks like he wil be coming more often here already. hehs. =) earned quite alot ytd. hopefully,likewise for today too.=)
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went on a date.hee.
shoppin spree,eating spree and drinkin spree.lolx.
went taka. did classic manicure. service = so so. but was veri glad. did pampering for myself. massage, mask etc. *grims*
met up with Rain,some1 i just knew ytd, who waited for my quite long since i'm doin manicure.hehs.but he was late in meetin me. so i received a gift. which makes me very glad. a Gucci necklace. * grims grins*
dinner's on him.cuz he's late.hehe.went to chicago steakhse for dinner. ate alot. 1st time tried escargote. it's nice! thou not the nicest of all, but surprisngly,it taste quite nice.gees.
walked to far east and start our shoppin spree. hehe.he's my fashion waredrobe. tried this n dat. not bad. hehs. bought a bareback vest, a dress ( my favorite.i love it alot the moment i see it), a flip flop. gees.
spent 120 bucks on my shoppin spree. d rest,it's his treat. went swesen for ice-cream. n ice-cream makes the mood better! gees.
den went blue coral to find ting. hehs. drank beer. played five-ten.stupid ting! siam me like hell.hahaha.=p den went for supper. *grims*
got home at 3plus.hehs.wat a nice day! enjoyed myself soo much. maybe i went out with the right person bahs.gees. tmr onwards wil be bz wkin wking.jia you! =)
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my chicken pox vacation coming to an end!!!
tinkin if shd go out.sigh.been so bored at home.suddenly feel so insecure to go out.hahaha..issit due to i'm stuck at home for too long?=p donnoe leh..
finished 4 sets of vcds. the last one was very damn nice. sigh.. watched until my tears canot stop coming out,until my mind keep tinkin bout the show..lolx..sometimes these kind of feelings just so nice.. but at the same time,makes me feel so alone. ha..
but nevertheless,i dont ask for much now. cuz i din haf the time either.just wanna concentrate on wk.love life? i guess there's no longer love in the world exist..
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Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
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well,i shd be enjoyin my chicken pox 'vacation', rite? u cant imagine how bored it is to stay at home. cant smoke, cant drink.ah!! i miss the times. back to freedom tis wkend! =)
been stayin at home,watchin all the korean drama vcds. i've finished 3 sets! li hai bah? =)
singapore sales is on!!! n i'm stuck at home! well, gonna wk hard for the next 2 wks in order to get wat i want! let's see..
1. a gucci bag (stil findin the type i want thou)
2. tops ( not enuff tops to wear for wk)
3. dresses ( keen for dresses still)
4. wallet ( my wallet is gettin older)
5. mp 3 player
6. a new fone ( sometimes kok kok)
i guess tat's all? hahaha.. seems all those expenses.. man. tink i'm gonna wk even harder. gees.
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Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
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gosh!!!!all thx to my bro,now i'm havin chicken pox!!!!!
i really hate it. sigh. these 2 days wk place wil be so much fun. yet such thing happen. arghhh!!!!!
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Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007
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hardly got time to update.gees.
got badly drunk on fri.sigh.n,i've lost some1 dearly. cuz i was so drunk,tat i msged him veri rude.sighs..but nvm....kind of miss him thou. maybe,he's just another player bahx. 'A' came n pick me thou. luckily,nth happens.i'm safe.
slack throughout the wkends.sing k with ting n 'seth' on sun. haha.kenny is my singing t'cher.so stress to sit beside him n sing.lolx.
mon.wk.today.wk.haha.wk wk wk.manx..tiring.lolx
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Wednesday, May 16th, 2007
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celebrated ting's bdae.
things din go smoothly thou. stil, in d end, the bdae ger enjoyed herself. gees. she got drunk (which i dont knoe how on earth she did tat.lolx.) while me, make my way home. slacked n nua til 5am plus den i could slp.
sun.happy mother's day! went with mom n bro to thai express n eat.dinner is short thou. aft tat, meet up with lloyd for movie. watched 28wks later. haha.. it seems like lloyd freaked out.=p i tot i din watched the part 1. but i actually did. lolx. the show not bad thou.=)
mon. work. it's nice. 'A' came in d end. well, he said he came to fetch me back. but i said, i alraedy had a date. not gg back with him. n he keeps like askin 'who.n where'. so i say, 'it's alraedy none of ur business.i'm safe'. =pp well, played bluff the whole day. wow!i'm actually quite good at lying !!!1 wahahahaha...
today!!! bro got chicken pox!!!! my gosh!!!! hopefully i'll be safe!!!
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had been so busy working nowadays.but i'm enjoying.gees
me n ting are crazy. lol. get soo lethargic n tired in the day.n den, when nite falls, abt 7 plus,we both gets soo energic.. starts to craps til late nite. hahaha. guess we both havin shi ca( time imbalance). lol.
worked at My Pub with ting ytd. gees. so sweet to see some1. gees. luckily, we dont feel odd seeing each other once again. was tryin to take some ice,den he's so sweet,put his hands into the fridge with me n try to hold my hands.gees.
hehs. ting works with me ytd as well. psycho her go de. lolx. we had such a busy nite ytd. upstairs were full house. my darlin customer is angry cus he sat upstairs for half n hr more n yet no waitress serve. he called me on fone but i din carry fone with me. sob. poor thing. well, but i'm glad he understands.gees.
was soo busy dat i hardly got time to smoke. haha. no mood for smoking n drinkin s well.tink had too much of drinks the previous nite.gees.went down to dragonfly in the end ytd to find A.kind of worried bout him. but haix.regretted goin down.the atmosphere sux. n we were so tired.dat i hop into the cab n off we go. well,he called today. explained.but somehow, i no longer feels wanna to bother bout him like the past. still,i'll worry bout him.i dont know. lolx. i guess i'm back to my normal life.gees
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my heart flutters.
1st day of work at a new bar. it's damn nice n thx to him, he gets me a gd pay. his bdae today. n he came down with his grps of frens n his gf to the bar to celebrate his bdae. noe sth.. i never ever tot i'd be able to celebrate his bdae... lest, i never tot we could be friends..
i feel so heartwarming, to see kenneth, xiao hua, dino n etc once again. yes. it's true that we noe each other not long, neither do we noe each other well.. but wat's between me n him, they both see i suffer s well. once again, we meet again last nite. n we had soo much fun. i was drunk becuz the customers made me drink 2 nick b4 they leave. told xiao hua 'eh.i scared i'll be drunk. customers made me drink.no choice. better prepare plastic bag'. haha. xiao hua took good care of me. like kor kor lidat. even sent me up to the door,as usual.
he was drunk s well. haha. but manage to kapok 2 ladies drinks from him. yea! =p suppose to be 5! nvm. he owed me. well, he played quite too far with me in front of his gf. i guess. i dont know wat's true n wat's real. but ireally cant be bothered any more. ytd,i just keep ignoring him when he tried to talk bout past. but we did play ard like friends. bully him. n he said 'eh..u wan lidat meh..' den i wud purposely say' so wat ah..big meh.u owed me de'. well,indeed,he did owed me tat nth can ever repay.
i really hope there's more outing like this next time. in a way, i really feel pleasant,somehow.hope to be their friends s well.
i dont wish to get deeper into any r/ship wif him anymore. so..i'm refraining...
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cin_life's journal
cranky.